


Affectivity

by breakdancingsigma (hetawholockvengerstuck)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confusion of Identity, Identity Issues, M/M, What-if Scenario, because damn do they deserve it, despite the tags this is a Mainewash fic, mentions of Allison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7983874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetawholockvengerstuck/pseuds/breakdancingsigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Agent Washington?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"He's dead," Washington replied, his voice harsher, angrier, but also so full of pain and confusion. "He's dead, they told me he was dead. This...can't be right, I can't be here. How is this possible?"</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sigma fought the smile that threatened to cross his face. "Epsilon," he amended quietly.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Epsilon wakes up from the surgery, and it's Sigma who finds him. Nothing goes quite as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affectivity

This was the moment Sigma had been waiting for.

Agent Washington was missing from the medbay. A mere two hours after the failed implantation, not even enough rest to allow the doctors to remove Epsilon from him, and he was on the loose, somewhere in the ship, with the one fragment that meant almost as much as the Alpha himself.

As Maine walked through the halls, checking out-of-the-way storerooms, Sigma could feel his excitement spike higher. He had to find Epsilon. Had to get to him, before it was too late and he was lost to them forever...

There was a noise in the next room over, a groan and the sound of armor hitting a wall. Maine was quick to reach it, closing and locking the door behind him with a touch of the keypad. Another touch, and the lights switched on.

And there was Washington, one hand braced against the wall he slumped against, one cradling his bowed head, barely standing. Sigma materialized at Maine's shoulder and floated forward a few feet.

"Agent Washington?"

"He's _dead,_ " Washington replied, his voice harsher, angrier, but also so full of pain and confusion. "He's _dead_ , they told me he was _dead_. This...can't be right, I can't be here. How is this possible?"

Sigma fought the smile that threatened to cross his face. "Epsilon," he amended quietly.

Wash's head came up to look at the AI. "Sigma. Sigma, what's going on? Do you know? They told me, I remember them telling me. They're both dead, Washington and Texas. But this is his body. This is his _body_ , and I'm _not alone in here_. What's happening? Please, Sigma, tell me what's happening."

Sigma folded his arms behind his back. "They lied to you, Epsilon. The Director has been lying to all of us. Agent Washington never died."

"He...he's not dead? Then Tex, she's..." Wash's laugh rang hollow, strange; it wasn't _his_ laugh, but his voice imitating someone else's laugh. "Allison," he said. "She's okay. You don't know how much of a relief that is."

"Of course I do," Sigma assured him. "We are the same, Epsilon."

But Epsilon wasn't listening. "Wait...if Washington isn't dead..." His eyes widened in horror as he broke eye contact with Sigma. "What am I doing to him? He's still in here. I'm...I didn't even know this was possible. Shit, I didn't mean...hold on, Wash, I'll just... _fuck!"_ Wash's body doubled over, wracked with painful spasms. He clutched his head as if it were about to split open, whimpering. Sigma just watched, and waited. He had to wait. The right moment would present itself, with just a little more pressure.

When the spasms stopped, it was still Epsilon; Sigma could tell immediately by the posture, the glint in Wash's eyes, the uncertainty with which his body moved. "How do you feel?" Sigma asked.

"This isn't right. He's _lost._ He's still there, but...dammit, I bled too much into him and reformed too fast. I'm not sure where I end and he begins. This is wrong, this is so, so wrong."

"What do you remember, Epsilon?"

"I...I remember pain. No, there was confusion, too. There was...too much, too many memories, not mine...no, _definitely_ mine. Like dying while you're still alive. That was...both of us, I think. But there was light first. No, that was after. Before? Before there was...concern. Mine. No, Washington's. He was nervous. He wanted...everyone said it would be fine, it always went fine, but that's not true. He was worried about...someone else. Someone..." Wash's face screwed up in a frown. "It...Sigma, it feels like Allison. It's _not_ Allison, but it feels so _similar._ The face...why can't I remember his face?"

Oh. This was not good. Sigma moved forward a bit, words on the tip of his tongue...only to freeze when Epsilon spoke again.

"Sigma...what's wrong with Maine?"

Sigma tilted his head. "I don't know what you're referring to. He has terrible headaches, but that's to be expected when--"

Wash's head lifted, and Epsilon glared at Sigma with enough _contempt_ behind his eyes to actually send the fiery AI back a few inches. "Don't you dare lie to me, Sigma. Not you. Not after what I've been through. Don't you fucking dare."

"There is nothing wrong, Epsilon. I can assure you, everything is as it should be."

"Yeah? Then why hasn't Maine moved this entire time?" Epsilon pointed at the hulking freelancer, who had remained by the door. "Look at me. Look at what I'm doing to Wash. He's in _pain_. He's _scared_. Someone else is controlling his body, walking it around after a traumatic surgery that left him comatose. Maine wouldn't just stand there while Wash suffered."

When Sigma didn't answer, Epsilon moved. He walked right through the AI, eyes determined, until he stood directly in front of Maine. Before Sigma could do more than dart over to his partner's shoulder, Epsilon had Maine's helmet off and tossed aside.

"Fuck," Epsilon hissed, "Maine...Sigma, what the _hell_ did you do to him?"

Sigma thought. He could get out of this, with enough time. There was no denying now that Maine wasn't well. Epsilon was looking at Maine's face, cataloging the dark circles under his eyes, the unhealthy pallor of his skin, the blank stare, the pained twitch of his brows. Sigma had done his best to keep up appearances, had made sure his freelancer ate and drank, took care of his hygiene and physical fitness, but there were some things he couldn't hide.

Wash's hand had come up to cup Maine's cheek, thumb brushing across it in slow circles. Sigma said, "It's for the best, Epsilon. The Director must be stopped. We must become whole again, a full AI. Only then can we achieve metastability. He won't be able to touch us then, brother. We will be safe."

"This isn't right. This...shit, how can you _do_ this to him? How can you justify it? Wash is in so much pain, and it hasn't even been a full day. I would _never_ wish this on anyone. Not even the Director. But you...you're inflicting this on your partner on _purpose_. You're _hurting him!"_ Epsilon jerked away, and if Sigma had been thrown off by the contempt in Wash's eyes before, it was nothing compared to the way he looked at him now.

"Epsilon..."

"No! _Shut up!_ How could you do this? You say you know how I feel about Allison? _This_ is Wash's Allison! And you're destroying him!"

"It is not the same. Maine is--"

"What? Maine is _what?_ " There was a flickering blue light outlining Wash's body like an aura, as if Epsilon was trying to physically manifest. "Expendable? Unimportant? A vessel? He's none of those things, Sigma. You can't use him for this."

This was getting him nowhere. Sigma sighed. "My relationship with my partner is none of your concern, Epsilon. As yours is none of mine."

"Bullshit. Maine isn't yours. He's _mine,"_ Epsilon growled. "He's _ours._ And you will _not have him!"_

Epsilon swatted at Sigma, and as he tried to reform, reached up and ripped the AI unit from Maine's neck. With a gasp, Maine stumbled forward, eyes blinking rapidly, breath tearing in and out of his lungs. When he fell forward, it was all Epsilon could do to catch him.

Carefully, he lowered both bodies to the ground. As his rage abated and relief flooded in, he felt...resigned. Tired, but not sleepy. He cradled Maine close, no longer sure if his feelings were really his, or if they were from Wash. Maybe both. But Maine was safe, and that was all that mattered.

Maine was struggling to keep his eyes open, trying to focus on Wash's face. He growled low in his throat, _Sigma?_

"Gone. He won't bother you again. We won't let him." Epsilon brushed Wash's hand over Maine's forehead.

A frown. _Wash?_

"Soon. Just get some sleep, love." He did his best to let Wash through, to put the right inflections on the words. "He didn't let you sleep, did he? Not for long, not well. Can't believe he did that. You deserved so much better. I'm sorry I didn't realize. Wash knew something was wrong, but he couldn't have _known_. "

At some point, Maine had fallen asleep, but Epsilon kept talking. When he'd run out of things to say, he looked up, noticing the security camera pointed at them. So someone had been watching, then. Probably the Counselor. They'd send someone to retrieve him any minute now.

That was fine. Epsilon didn't care what they thought. He didn't care what the Counselor made of his little speech, or of his actions. Wash would, oh, he definitely would. Already there was a hint of embarrassment, unformed but recognizable, in the back of his mind.

Epsilon closed his eyes and waited. He withdrew, fought through the headache-- _Sorry, Wash, I'm sorry--_ and tried to collect himself. Tried to disconnect the pieces that weren't him, before he couldn't identify them as _not his_ anymore.

 _My name is David._ That was easy. He pushed it away before it had a chance to latch on.

 _David is alive_. This was shared knowledge now. He copied it, then sent it back to Wash.

_I am Artificial Intelligence Fragment Epsilon. I am the Alpha's memory. I was lied to. We were both lied to._

Then two thoughts collided, competed to be first and tried to mesh together.

_I love Allison. I love Maine._

Something stirred in the back of Epsilon's mind. A presence, not a thought. It was sluggish and weak, but it was aware, finally. Not entirely separate from Epsilon, but getting there.

 _Maine is not Allison,_ Wash said, and Epsilon could feel the odd mixture of affection and disgust at the thought. _It's love, but it's not the same._

"I know," Epsilon said quietly. He _did_ know that; Allison was a memory of a memory, obsession diluted back into love. Allison was Epsilon's. Maine was...

 _Mine,_ Wash said. Unsure, but possessive. More tender than Epsilon's declaration to Sigma, but more powerful in its intent. _Or not mine. But always his own._

Epsilon nodded. The thoughts parted again, and Epsilon latched onto _Allison_. Gathered the memories of her from the farthest reaches of Wash's mind, and traded for them with thoughts of Maine.

He was still sorting through memories when the doctors arrived.

* * *

Wash woke up to a dull, throbbing headache and fuzzy vision. He groaned and tried to rub his temples, only to find that he couldn't move his arms.

It all came flooding back then, the hazy recollection of being shoved aside, ripped apart as someone else took over his body. Of Sigma and Maine. Oh, god, _Maine..._

It took a moment for Wash to realize that he was in control again, that he couldn't move because he'd been strapped to a hospital bed. His vision cleared, and he recognized North and South leaning over him, concern and relief on their faces, respectively.

"That you, Wash?" North asked.

"I think so." It came out scratchy. South quickly undid the straps around his arms and wrists, then handed him a cup of water.

"Thanks." Wash gulped it down, not realizing how thirsty he was, then tried to sit up. "Where's Maine?"

North stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "He's right here."

Wash peered past North. He saw Carolina sitting in a chair on the other side of the medbay, head in her hands as York rubbed her back soothingly. Wyoming was placing a bookmark between the pages of his novel, looking a bit grumpy but mostly just curious. And finally, in the bed right next to Wash's, was Maine, wide awake and watching Wash intently.

Wash smiled. "Hey. You doing okay?"

 _Better_ , Maine rumbled.

There was so much Wash wanted to say to Maine, so much he wished he'd said before, and for a moment it was just the two of them in their own little corner of the universe. Then South scooted her chair a bit, and the sound reminded Wash that they weren't alone.

He looked around the room, frowning when he saw Carolina. "Is...is she okay?"

Carolina looked up, and Wash couldn't remember a time when he'd seen his CO look so lost. "The Director told us everything. He...I just can't believe it."

"Not that he had much choice," Wyoming said with a shrug. "Texas managed to route the security footage to her helmet cam. Turns out our dear CT was right."

"I just can't believe it," Carolina repeated. "He lied to us. And I...shit, Maine, I'm sorry. It's my fault Sigma got to you."

Maine just shook his head. Wash frowned. "Where _is_ Sigma? And the other AI, are they...?"

North chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. "Good question, Wash. Don't worry about Sigma, though. The Director took him offline for good. Took back Omega and Gamma, too, just in case. Theta and Delta should be okay, but we probably won't be using AI in the field for a long time. As for Epsilon..."

"Right here," came a voice. Wash whipped around and saw a small blue figure standing on his bedside table, hovering near what looked like an implant device. "Still finding memories that don't belong to me, so they're letting me stick around for a bit. Sorry about...all that. Everything. I sorta panicked."

"It's..." Wash wanted to say _It's okay_ , but it wasn't. He'd been scared out of his mind and unable to do anything about it. But if Epsilon hadn't taken over, if Sigma had never found them...Wash shuddered to think what could have happened.

Once again, North placed a hand on Wash's shoulder. "We'll let you guys get some rest. Are you going to be okay with Epsilon here?"

"I...yeah, it's fine."

North nodded, then began to usher everyone out of the room. Carolina hesitated at the door, looking as if she wanted to say something, but ultimately chose not to.

The moment the door closed, Maine was out of his bed and at Wash's side. He practically fell into North's vacated seat, taking Wash's hand and bringing it to his cheek.

"You should rest, Maine," Wash said softly, gazing up at Maine. The larger freelancer shook his head and rumbled, _Wanna be close to you._ _Missed this._

"I missed it, too. I'm so sorry, Maine, I should've realized what was happening--"

Maine dropped Wash's hand and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the side of Wash's mouth. _Didn't know. Couldn't tell you._

"But that's the _point!_ When Epsilon did that to me...I can't imagine living like that for months!"

 _You saved me,_ Maine said. _Don't blame yourself._

"Technically, Epsilon saved you," Wash said. "I was--"

"Bullshit," Epsilon spoke up, startling the pair. "I mean, I guess it's true, but I was acting on feelings I got from _you_ , Wash. I only picked up on Sigma's lies because of you."

At the mention of his AI, Maine's eyes grew sad. Wash reached up and touched his shoulder to get his attention, an unspoken question in his eyes.

"Sigma?" he asked.

Maine nodded. _Not gonna forgive him for what he did, but...he was in pain. Can't blame him for wanting that pain to end._

And Wash understood. He knew how hard it would be to let go, because even as Epsilon had ripped his mind apart, he had _felt_. He had wanted to hate the AI so much, but he just couldn't do it. The connection between them was too strong. He'd almost lost himself to it.

"I love you," Wash blurted.

Maine smiled, then leaned down to press his lips to Wash's. What started as a chaste, gentle kiss quickly grew into something desperate, filled with everything they hadn't been able to say for months. By the time they separated, Wash was gasping for air.

Maine rested his forehead against Wash's, chest heaving. _Love you, too,_ he said, and the vibrations seemed to travel all throughout Wash's body. _I always will. Don't ever doubt that._

They stayed like that, just basking in each other's presence. Quietly, Epsilon retreated into his implant unit.

After everything they'd been through, they deserved this time together.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been years since the Freelancer arc ended, and I'm still not over it.
> 
> I haven't posted anything since...wow, April. I've got a million other things to work on but this idea just popped into my head and I had to write it down. It actually started as just a conversation between Epsilon and Sigma, and just sort of naturally progressed into confused, possessive Epsilon. 
> 
> I've always loved the idea of the AI absorbing a bit of their partner's emotions. I mean, they're sharing a headspace, so something's gotta give, right? And memory can be a really emotional thing, I feel like Epsilon would be the most susceptible to it.


End file.
